CBTED, creating an environment that deters hostile beings (08:00)

Personal Opinions

• Emotional tension is one of anticipatory feelings I have. It’s the perception that I am in a place of potential danger and that I need to see if everyone else is either on board or not.
• Essentially, is the person I am talking to worth my time and can I relate to them? If so perfect, keep going. If not, don’t worry about it and move on.
• This is almost extreme value status and time management condensed down to a subconscious thought and reading body language.
• Introspection is the threat assessment and self-surgery of pride and ego
• Manson: “Sex is the most valuable thing a man can attain, and it’s worth sacrificing anything (including your own dignity) to get it.”
• Sacrificing dignity (though i don’t know what it means yet) seems like sacrificing self. Losing a part of you in search for something that is perceived as whole, which probably isn’t, just gets you to be less you and unsure of what exactly “you” is.
• Then you do more expecting more only to lose more and getting less.
• Being extraordinary doesn’t mean not being human and being average doesn’t mean failure. Clarficaiton: Being average compared to other people is failure. But being average compared to you a year ago is. You shouldn’t be able to look back and say “Hell, I haven’t changed at all in the last year.” And that has to do with being human. You are what you want to be, your reality is the one you earned with the work you put in and the change you were willing to make. That, strangely enough, is extraordinary because being uncomfortable when you have every opportunity to be comfortable is the what makes you different.
• Also ties into mediocrity. If you’re afraid of being mediocre, chances are you aren’t doing anything that leads to that. To fear something is to acknowledge it exists and that you want or don’t want it.

Exploration

• Introspection - after the fact, reflecting on the past: examining any aspect of your inner experience (thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, desires)
• Metacognition - real-time monitoring: specifically focused on cognitive processes - thinking about your thinking, learning, and problem-solving
• Emotional
• Tension, availability and vulnerability
• Emotional Attachment and Association
• Recognize that suffering often comes from resistance to what is
• Practice observing emotions without immediately acting on them
• Distinguish between caring and clinging
• Accept impermanence as a natural part of life
• Focus energy on what you can influence rather than what you can't
• Detatchment
• Hope, fear, expectations, and anticipation of the unknown
• Trauma relativity and individual capacity: trauma is relative to the individual's experience and capacity. A person drowning in 6 feet of water isn't less legitimately drowning than someone in 60 feet.
• Dignity, pride, duty, honor vs ego (your whole Manson reflection)
• Preservation of identity
• Insecurity and what people latch onto
• Baseline, tolerance, patience, hedonic treadmill
• Low expectations but expecting failure
• Intentions (judging ourselves vs others)
• "When good intentions go bad" effect
• In psychology research, this is sometimes called the "when good intentions go bad" effect - studies show people who publicly commit to goals (like donating to charity or exercising) sometimes become less likely to follow through because the social recognition satisfies the same psychological need as actually doing the thing.