21 Fears (March 2025)

#21: Fear of Abandonment

• It makes every relationship feel like a countdown, like you’re just waiting for the moment someone decides you’re not worth sticking around for. And when you’ve been left before (whether by choice, circumstance, or something in between) it makes you second-guess everything.
• No matter how much you care, no matter how much you give, you can’t force someone to stay. People leave for their own reasons, and most of the time, it has nothing to do with you.
• But you can choose to stop tying your self-worth to who stays and who doesn’t. The people who truly matter? They won’t need to be convinced to be in your life. And the ones who go? Let them.

#20: Fear of Failure

• Failure feels personal. Almost as if it’s proof that you weren’t good enough, that you should’ve done more, been more. But failure isn’t a judgment. It’s just data.
• It’s life showing you what works and what doesn’t. The people you respect the most? The ones who’ve built something real? They’ve failed more times than they can count.The only difference is, they kept going.
• As a man I respect has said many times: “Fail, fail again, fail better.” Nobody’s keeping score of your losses except you. And honestly? Nobody cares. They’re too busy worrying about their own. Failure is not a monster to fight. It’s just part of the process.

#19: Fear of Complacency

• The fear that one day you’ll wake up and realize you played it too safe, that you settled. It’s a real fear, and it should be. Because staying still is the fastest way to kill potential.
• You don’t have to be running at full speed every second to be moving forward. Progress isn’t always loud. It’s slow, unglamorous work that doesn’t feel like much. Until you look back and see how far you’ve come.
• The key is to stay honest with yourself. Are you actually growing or just keeping busy? If you don’t like the answer, change something. Slowing down is part of building momentum, but don’t confuse rest with stagnation.

#18: Fear of Rejection

• Rejection stings. It feels like proof that you weren’t enough and the world decided to pass by without a second thought. Hesitation, second-guessing, and sometimes, not even trying.
• Rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s just redirection. It’s life filtering out what isn’t meant for what you need for what you are now.
• Opportunities come and go. One thing today may be back ten years from now. But the regret of holding back, staying silent, and never knowing what could’ve been - that will be more painful. You don’t need approval from everyone, just not from fair-weather friends.

#17: Fear of Not Being Enough

• No matter how much has been completed, it never feels like it’s enough. There’s always more to learn, more to understand, more to fix. That feeling when going to sleep thinking that there was one more thing that could have been done.
• That feeling doesn’t come from reality. It comes from comparison. It’s measuring the current self against expectations that aren't unreasonable, but rather unrealistic.
• That doesn’t mean stop growing, it means stop doubting. Continuous improvement over delayed perfection. Keep watering and nurturing that little seed you planted.

#16: Fear of Judgement

• The thought of being judged. Almost as if every move you make is being dissected and every mistake magnified. But here’s the thing: people will judge you no matter what.
• Whether you play it safe or take risks, someone will have something to say. And most of the time? They’re too caught up in their own insecurities to think about you for long. Heck, that might be one of their insecurities.
• Why does it matter? Let them misunderstand you, doubt you, criticize you. They will only know as much as they need to know. Just make sure that when you look in the mirror, you respect the person who respects you.

#15: Fear of Ownership

• Responsibility isn’t just about tasks, it’s about ownership. Maybe someone else could have carried their part of the weight. But when things go wrong, there’s no one else to blame. And that is a heavy weight that gets heavier and heavier.
• But avoiding responsibility doesn’t make life easier, it just keeps you powerless. The people who own their circumstances are the ones who shape their own future. Because they know they made that commitment not for other people, but for themselves.
• You can’t control everything, but you can control your effort, your integrity, and your willingness to step up. Responsibility and taking ownership of every situation isn’t a burden. It’s the price of real freedom.

#14: Fear of Emotions

• “Emotions make you weak and only mean you’re insecure.” “If you tell people how you really feel, they’ll lose respect for you.” “It is unprofessional to care about how this will emotionally-impact other people.”
• Being honest about what you feel doesn’t make you less of a man or woman, it makes you human. However, knowing how to communicate those feelings is just as important as the conversation.
• Be clear about the intention and expectation of the conversation. If you need to feel heard and receive support, let them know. If you are seeking to solve the problem and understand the situation, let them know. Most people want to help but everyone is wired differently.

#13: Fear of Loneliness

• Being alone and being lonely aren’t the same thing. Being alone is a physical state: it can be intentional, peaceful, and even empowering. Being lonely is an emotional state: feeling disconnected or isolated, even if you are surrounded by people. Loneliness often carries a sense of longing for deeper connection, understanding, or companionship.
• “It is better to be alone than to be in bad company.” Loneliness isn’t proof that something is wrong with you. It’s just a sign that you need deeper connections, not just more people around you.
• Don’t fear solitude. Use it. Build yourself into someone you’d want to spend time with. Because when you do, the right people will naturally find their way into your life.

#12: Fear of Perfection

• You hesitate, overthink, and wait for a perfect answer, time, or situation. The truth is perfection is an illusion. No thought, decision, action, or behavior comes with a guarantee of progress or success.
• Waiting too long is a choice. But imagine the regret of inaction. You can recover from a wrong choice. You can’t recover from never choosing at all.
• Trust yourself enough to take action. You’ll learn, adjust, and keep moving forward. The only real mistake is letting fear make your choices for you.

#11: Fear of Risk

• Risk means stepping into uncertainty. And that’s terrifying when you’ve worked hard to build something stable. Relationships, careers, self-improvement, literally anything.
• But safety and growth don’t live in the same place. Every opportunity, every breakthrough, every level-up comes with risk attached. You will lose, lose again, lose less, lose for the last time.
• That one question: “Is this risky?” Nah, bad question. Seek calculated risks, not uninformed risks “Is the potential reward worth the risk?” If the answer is yes, then take the leap of faith.

#10: Fear of Mediocrity

• Ever see those people who just exist? No purpose, no direction, just being. To do something real is something that sets you apart. But the fear of being just “another person” can eat at you.
• Excellence isn’t about being recognized. It’s about what you demand from yourself. The most successful people? They weren’t chasing fame. They were chasing mastery.
• Focus on being better, not just being noticed. If you put in the work, mediocrity won’t even be an option.

#9: Fear of Authenticity

• You want to be yourself. But socially, you might have to be someone else to fit in. There’s a period in growth where you’re being someone you’re not. When you've outgrown the friends you once had but haven't yet found the friends you need.
• “Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?” - Charles Bukowski
• Dream of who you want to be. Own who you are. Learn from who you were. You owe it to your future self to be yourself, even if it means being alone for some time.

#8: Fear of Change

• Even when things aren’t great, at least they’re familiar. It is partially the complacency and partially the comfort. But in the end, it is the perception of safety. Comfort zones aren’t safe; they’re just prisons disguised as security.
• That’s why change is so scary - it forces you into the unknown. Change isn’t the enemy. Stagnation is. If you’re not evolving, you’re maintaining.
• Be comfortable with discomfort. Because that reduces your baseline and increases your tolerance. Even if it seems better not to, keep moving forward.

#7: Fear of Not Being Enough

• No matter how much you do, it’ll never be enough. You will never be able to achieve enough. That you’ll never be satisfied. That you will never be able to make everyone proud.
• Guess what? You’re right.
• Inactivity will weaken muscles. Dehydration and hunger will cause emotional decisions. Lack of intellectual stimulation will cause stupidity and dullness. No redwood tree ever quit when it was a sapling. You were never supposed to be satisfied.

#6: Fear of Discomfort

• The body avoids pain. The mind craves for peace. The heart seeks connection. The soul longs for meaning.
• Discomfort isn’t a punishment, it’s a teacher. Strength, wisdom, and resilience all of it comes from doing the hard things. Stop running from it. Lean in. Let it shape you into someone who can handle whatever comes next.
• Here’s the thing, growth and comfort don’t coexist. Growth and gratitude do. Be grateful with what you have done and who you are. Just remember to keep on moving.

#5: Fear of Missing Out

• You see others chasing different paths and living different lives. Having fun, enjoying their vacations, talking about their weekend plans. But is that something you really need?
• You’re grinding when others are partying. You’re sweating when others are relaxing. You’re pushing your limits when others can’t even get off the couch.
• Life isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing what matters to you. Focus on your path, and let go of the noise. Party now and suffer later or build now and thrive later?

#4: Fear of Regret

• Regret isn’t about the things you did. It’s about the things you didn’t do, the chances you didn’t take, the words you never said. You can recover from failure, but you can’t recover from never trying?
• It’s not luck or happy coincidences, it’s preparation. Preparation is the killer of entitlement. Some people feel they are entitled to a lifestyle. That is completely wrong. The life you live is the one you have earned.
• At the end of your life, you won’t care about the times you embarrassed yourself. You won’t care about the criticism you got or people who laughed at you. You’ll care about the chances you didn’t take.

#3.1: Fear of Commitment

• Imagine making a choice. The only information you can use is the knowledge, experience, and intuition you currently have. You might have more options later, found something better, or have more resources to work with. Or maybe not. Would you make the commitment?
• “There are only two creatures of value on the face of the earth: those with the commitment, and those who require the commitment of others.” - John Adams
• Growth, relationships, success all demand that you plant your feet and choose. Absolute certainty will never come. (Only the Sith deal in absolutes.) Choose, commit, and make it work. That’s where real freedom is.

#3.2: Fear of Letting Go

• It would be hard to talk about commitment without talking about letting go. Letting go feels like failure. Almost as if admitting you wasted time. This is where loyalty comes into the mix.
• Loyalty wants balance. Loyalty to others means being reliable and honest, but not at the cost of your well-being. Loyalty to yourself means recognizing when staying is an act of integrity and when leaving is an act of self-respect.
• This is not relationship advice. Circumstances, intentions, and communication all play a big role in loyalty, commitment, and letting go. This is just a thought.

#2: Fear of Fear

• “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” - Winston Churchill
• Fear is a trap, not a mountain. The discomfort, the unknown, the what-ifs. But the end result is being paralyzed before you even begin.
• Fear is just energy. If you let it control you, it keeps you small. If you redirect it, it pushes you forward. Understand the fear. Then do it anyway. Because fear isn’t the problem.

#1: Fear of Lacking Closure